


I'll be your Mirror

by TheNightling



Category: The Dreaming (Comics), The Sandman (Comics)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:49:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29335584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNightling/pseuds/TheNightling
Summary: This story is a shameless Fluff piece written while listening to “I’ll be your Mirror” by The Velvet Underground on repeat.  This is sort of Dream of The Endless working through an existential crisis.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	I'll be your Mirror

I’ll be your Mirror 

The pale figure of Daniel Hall moved through the empty private chambers of The Castle at the heart of The Dreaming.  
This ancient, and stone-looking, fortress was a monument to pure creativity, pure imagination. Sometimes known as Ghost Castle it seemed fitting that that the current aspect of Dream (who often answered to the name Daniel) actually resembled something of a ghost. He was pale white, as white as milk, and his hair was just as white, just as soft and cloud-like, as the rest of his ethereal form. His hair was curly and untamed, much like the black hair of his predecessor, the now deceased aspect of Dream, Morpheus.  
Daniel’s eyes were black as pools of midnight water, with two twin star pupils. He could have been the boyish and more youthful looking twin of the previous embodiment of dream.  
Daniel wore an egg-shaped emerald amulet, the only sign of color upon him. Otherwise he was a mostly white, and wispy entity wandering his private chambers. He moved silently and with some private sense of purpose.  
Dream of The Endless is something like a great, faceted jewel. And each facet is a different incarnation- an aspect, an autonomous entity that is both connected to, and yet separate to the whole.  
  
Daniel knew he was only a fragment and not the whole of what is Dream of The Endless and yet there was no real sense of comfort to that strange loneliness that ate at his all-too human-like heart. He often felt he was too human. Had his predecessor dealt with such a burden? He tried to recall. Yes. Why, yes he had. But only toward the end…  
You would think the link to that old, deceased, aspect of Dream of The Endless would be gone but that was not necessarily the case. Not only had Daniel inherited all of his memories but he had done something, something that he was fairly certain most did not know about…

Daniel had been conceived and gestated for over two years in a mortal woman’s womb in The Dreaming. Though his mother had some divine aspect within her, and was considered something of a “metahuman” herself, Daniel had seemed human enough at the time of his birth, despite the peculiarities of his gestation and his poor, naïve, father having been the manipulated soul of a deceased human…  
Where had the other aspect of Dream been during Daniel’s gestation? Well, for most of it he had been imprisoned in a crystalline cage in a mortal’s cellar.

In his early form Daniel had appeared to be a normal human baby. Blond haired, blue eyed, with a peach-tone flesh that wasn’t as it was now, this milk-white. The only one who had recognized him for what he truly was had been Himself, that is to say, the active aspect of Dream, Lord Morpheus.  
Now looking pretty much nothing like that mortal baby, the adult and distinctly non-human Daniel Hall, this aspect of Dream of The Endless, recalled well their first psychic communications with one and other. It was the only time he truly felt a deep and profound bond to another, when he stared into Morpheus’ eyes and felt that link there between them. Of course there had been some connection to his mortal-esque mother but this was different. What he felt toward this other aspect of self was like staring into a reflection of his very soul.  
When he “Spoke” with Morpheus it was like communing with his own subconscious. There was such an understanding and appreciation for the truth that it comforted him to know he was there. Though to tell which had been comforted by the other’s presence was difficult to say.  
When Morpheus had “Died” as Dream of The Endless, Daniel rose to power, taking his predestined form and his mind flooded with the repressed, and hidden knowledge and memories of over ten billion years of consciousness. Now he felt like the very heart of an intricate web, he knew each fiber as it stretched from himself and through The Dreaming.  
He had a psychic link to every sentient entity he had ever created within The Dreaming, including ones created by his previous-self (whom he could recall having been, like a human recalling a previous incarnation).  
The loneliness had been terrible in those first few moments as Lord of The Dreaming, despite his sudden psychic awareness and knowledge. And one of the first things he did was something others might find unspeakable…  
Meanwhile, in another part of The Dreaming…  


“I walk across the dreaming sands under the pale moon: through the dreams of countries and cities, past dreams of places long gone and times beyond recall.”  
In his darkest and strangest hours, when Morpheus had thoughts he scarcely would admit to himself he wondered that perhaps Loki, Lucifer, and all the other iconoclasts of the various pantheons were right in their rebellion. They wanted to leave and so they did. There was no dramatic final exit. They didn’t dread abandoning responsibilities as he did. If only he had the bravery or selfishness and carelessness to do as they had done…but these thoughts were along the lines of words he would never dare utter, not even to himself. He was dead now, right? What did it matter? He had escaped his role in the most absolute fashion possible…  
Morpheus walked along the beach of Hob’s dream in the perpetual eventide. This was, for him, his Heaven, his sanctuary. And almost every night he would walk and speak with his friend who always steadfastly refused Death’s gift. How he admired Hob’s fortitude. And how he, himself, liked it here. He was at peace here. Eternally residing in the dream of a friend wasn’t the worst way one could spend an existence after being an Endless. And yet sometimes he felt certain old aches, like a mortal who had lost a leg and missed it terribly.  
His existence as Dream of The Endless was over but Morpheus had been recreated as a Dream Entity. Now free from the burden of being Dream of The Endless, he did not envy the self that had to reign in his place. In fact he found himself pitying him. And sometimes he felt that his new purpose, his new reason to be, was to simply reassure Daniel as no one had for himself- to remind him that he understood. That he knew how he felt. That he was not alone. And most importantly, perhaps, that he forgave him for all his faults and short comings…  
Daniel walked to the mirror mounted over the vanity table in his private rooms. The door to the room vanished behind him. He wanted to be alone with his brooding thoughts. Daniel stared into the mirror, trying to decide who or what he was.  
Who was he? And where did he belong? Was he the boy Lyta Hall had cradled in her arms or was he the man who would govern The Dreaming for eons to come and who had always governed The Dreaming? He felt world weary and weak. He doubted himself and his abilities as Dreamlord. He sighed heavily. Sometimes he just wished he was that innocent child once more simply so someone would hold him and comfort him and tell him everything would be okay.

A figure stepped behind Daniel, soundlessly and as shadowlike as Daniel was ghostlike. Daniel was only briefly startled by the sudden presence of his deceased self in the chamber with him. He knew better than to ask how Morpheus had come to be there. Morpheus might have been deceased as Dream of The Endless but as a dream-entity he was very much free from that burden and knew his way around The Dreaming and especially his old castle. And he knew how to enter where only Dream would enter.  
The two – the living Dream of The Endless and the “Dead” Dream felt such a relief in the other’s presence as if all pressure had been lifted. But each was too proud to admit how much he needed the other in that moment. 

“What am I?” Daniel asked in his lingering sense of personal uncertainty. It was the question he would never ask anyone other than himself.  
“You are you. You are Dream.” Morpheus assured him as if that was all the answer he needed.  
Daniel nodded. He seemed a little shaky but the other figure placed a bony hand on Daniel’s narrow shoulder. Daniel’s garments wavered, shifted. And his white robes became a fine, gauzy, white, toga, just as Morpheus’ own gothic, wizard-like robes shifted into an identical black toga.  
The two looked like matching halves of a yin-yang standing there in front of the great oval mirror mounted over the vanity table.  
“I am here.” Morpheus assured him in his own imperfect way of trying to comfort himself. “I am here.” He did not begrudge his posthumous existence. He knew why Daniel needed him. The silent need that they both had, it was that same need that had invited a certain cat that had been mistaken as another aspect of Dream, to come save the universe. That was a different adventure that both knew in their heart but could not actually, consciously, directly, remember, not really.  
“I will be for you what was never there for me.” Morpheus assured him.  
Daniel took a ragged breath. “I didn’t… I wasn’t sure you would…”  
“That I would forgive my own existing? Daniel… It was my plan. I knew I had to change or die. I chose both. I knew what you would do because you are me. How could I begrudge it?”  
Daniel turned his head. Morpheus had released his awkward grip on the shoulder of his other self.  
“This is where we both belong.” Daniel said. It was a statement but it was also a plea, a secret, hidden plea. He feared being rejected by himself.  
“Perhaps.” Morpheus said, knowing Daniel understood what he meant.  
“We are all things within The Dreaming.” Daniel said. “The wind, the rain, the sunset, all of it. It’s us. And I don’t actually –need- anyone.” He lied and he knew his other self knew he was lying.  
“But there is a difference to be able to talk and hear a voice respond that has felt and knows your burden."  
“I don’t want to be alone.” Daniel said. “You’re just going to leave again, retreat back into your dreamscape and leave me to bear it… We’re not the same. You’re free where I am not.”  
Morpheus’ expression darkened, his frown deepened. “No. No, I’m not as free as I thought I was. You are my burden now. I am my own burden. Because… No matter where I go… there I am… And you need me. I… am responsible.”  
Daniel looked at him, uncertainly, blinking his black, glassy, eyes. “You would… stand with me? So I don’t have to be alone?”  
“I am here, am I not? Yes… I have died. And …changed.” He loathed admitting that more than once. “But things are different now. There are two of us… We need not stand alone any longer.”  
Daniel looked at him, at his other self, and there was no resentment. There was no sense of old guilt for forcing him to exist. He knew that he understood why he had done it. They forgave each other. And they were both home.

“No one else would ever accept me if I showed them all of who and what I am.” Daniel confessed. “Not even… Not even my mortal mother. She could never understand. There’s so much darkness in me... And it has always been there. Always, even before I was Daniel Hall. I am so very afraid of …of my own darkness.”  
Morpheus gave him a trace of a bitter smile. “You are afraid others might see your mind, your secret heart, and judge you for it? You are afraid they will see the corruption, cruelty, and unkindness?”  
“Yes…”  
“Daniel, I was far crueler than you ever were. Don’t burden yourself…”  
“But sometimes I-“  
“Shhhh.” Morpheus said. “It’s what you do, not what you think that defines what you are. You don’t bear that darkness alone. It’s what you choose to do despite the darkness that matters. Pretend to be kind- and act on that pretended kindness. Behave the way you think a kind creature should act. It is good enough to pretend, to play the part. You are good enough.”  
“How- how can I do that? I barely know how to be you.”  
“’Me.’” Morpheus corrected. “How to be ‘me.’ You are not my shadow.”  
Daniel shook his head and raised his hands to his face, placing his palms over his own eyes.  
Morpheus was not very good at physical intimacy except with lovers and even then there was some question as to his ability to express affection but when it came to himself he made the exception and reaching out he took a hold of each of Daniel’s hands, cupping his hands with his to gently ease down his hands. “Please put down your hands. Don’t worry. I see you for what you really are. You are not something terrible. You are Dream and you are …beautiful. Surely you see it?”  
“How can you possibly see good in me when you don’t even see it in yourself?” Daniel asked.  
Morpheus was taken aback by the question as if Daniel’s very words had slapped him. “I…”  
“I have done terrible things. I have hurt people.” Daniel said. “Why do you think I am so much better than you? Why? How could I be better than you when I AM you? At least you never killed except in defense of The Dreaming! I… I killed and it was for malicious reasons. I thought I was being honorable but I was just being cruel.”  
Morpheus knew what he was talking about. He had always known. He knew about Daniel’s lover, Ivy, Rose Walker’s daughter. Desire’s great granddaughter. And he knew that when a bachelor party, besotted by alcohol, had made lewd comments about Ivy, Daniel had driven them all, in a pleasant dream-walk, into the ocean…  
It had been cruel. It had been brutal. It had been something Morpheus had thought beyond his own capacity but he sometimes surprised himself. And he also knew he had to forgive himself. Daniel had been burdened with being Dream of The Endless all alone and it was effecting his mind.  
Daniel clenched his hands into fists. He looked so vulnerable to Morpheus, so tired, and so frail. “Damn you! Damn you for leaving me here and making me be you!” Daniel said with his head bowed. Their thoughts were shared between them as they had been when Daniel had his mortal, infant, form. 

Morpheus slowly walked from Daniel and the vanity mirror that had reflected them this entire time. Now Daniel’s was the only image in the mirror as Morpheus walked to a sofa that had not been in the stark room a moment before.  
He sat down slowly, heavily, despite his slight build.  
“I should never have done this to you… It was wrong of me.”  
Daniel was surprised.  
“All I did was subject another self to the same burden that I fled from in allowing you to become Dream of The Endless, and letting myself die. I see now there is only one way to rectify this wrong…”  
Daniel blinked several times and walked over to the sofa. He sat down next to him. Daniel knew what he meant to do. “Are you certain? After all you went through to extricate yourself?”  
Morpheus nodded slowly. “Yes, I am certain. I must do this. It will just be an endless cycle unless…”  
Daniel placed a hand over Morpheus’ “Unless we share the burden… together. Support one and other… be there for each other…”  
Morpheus looked at him.  
“Balance one and other.” When Daniel lifted his hand there was now something in Morpheus’ palm. It was the ruby dreamstone amulet he had re-created shortly before his own destruction. He looked down at it with a nod.  
With an almost ceremonious act of raising it, Morpheus lifted the jewel pendant up, and over his head. He lifted it over his mop of black, wild, hair and let the amulet hang from his neck, lightly against his chest.  
Now Daniel offered the pouch of dreamsand. Morpheus saw it had been exactly duplicated though which was the duplicate, the one he would claim, or the one Daniel kept, it was impossible to tell.

“Ovid wrote of three Oneiroi.” Daniel said. “But I think we have both had enough of three-in-one. And perhaps two is enough. Don’t you think?”  
Morpheus slowly nodded.  
As soon as Morpheus was done securing the pouch to his hip Daniel took his hand again. He liked holding his hand and he knew Morpheus liked it too even if they were both too proud to admit it out loud.  
“Promise me,” Daniel said, “promise you will help me through my own darkness.”  
“I will try. I’m not sure I can.” Morpheus said, uncertainly.  
“You can,” Daniel said “Because you already are. We… already are… for each other.”  
“Which one of us is the reflection of the other?”  
“Does it matter?”  
“No. Not anymore.” 

The End.


End file.
